Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Big, BIG changes


I don't even know where to begin this update. So much has happened in this journey in the past 3 weeks. This is a heavy hearted updated as this surrogacy journey has come to a close. K abruptly decided to no longer continue egg retrievals for the purpose of this surrogacy.
Here's how we got here:
You'll remember that K made the decision to switch clinics and I was to have another saline sonogram performed for our new doctor. I was fortunate to be able to have this sonogram rather quickly on August 8. The appointment went well, and my results were sent to the clinic.

I spoke with K regarding the appointment while we waited to hear back from the doctor. The sweet practitioner that performed the ultrasound noted 2 very tiny polyps in the uterine lining. K's doctor warned her previously that this could be a possibility due to the multiple rounds of fertility meds taken during these attempts. The fix is to have me undergo a d&c -dilation & curretage - which is a minor surgical procedure to remove the polyps from the uterine tissue. K and I had discussed this possibility previously and weren't discouraged at all by the results. This is not uncommon during IVF and we both agreed that having this procedure would be the next step in our process. We both ended the call in good spirits and excited to be moving forward.

Less than 24 hours later, my agency sent me a break-up email, stating that K had decided to break our match and put surrogacy on hold due to emotional and financial reasons. This news came as quite a shock to me as there was no hint at all that this was even an option for her. I reached out to K, but she said she did not want to talk. She did finally respond a few days later via text to apologize. She let me know that her decision was not based on the ultrasound results since she hadn't even spoken to her doctor. She said she would touch base with soon but of course she has not. I do not expect her to do so at this point.

I feel that the IPs are contractually responsible for the surgery costs since the polyps are a direct result of the surrogacy contract. My agency disagrees at this moment, so that is something I have to let the attorneys handle. *sigh*

I am now left trying to decide if I should undergo the d&c (I can't get approved as a carrier again with the presence of the polyps) or consider this the end of my road for surrogacy. I do have a desire to carry for another couple but an elective surgery, no matter how simple, is not to be taken lightly. I have a consult on August 30 with my OB to discuss the procedure, risks, etc. In the meantime, I will continue to search my heart to decide about my future as a gestational carrier.

Thank you all for following along with me. Life isn't always peaches and roses, I suppose!

I'll reach out to you all again soon.

Monday, August 1, 2016

A long awaited update...

Y'all. Summer break is almost over - back to school is in 4 days!!
I have been MIA on this blog for almost the entire summer break! BUT, I finally have an update. Fair warning: this may be a tl;dr post for some of you.

If you remember from the last post, we were waiting on K to begin meds for her thyroid condition before proceeding with her egg retrieval. She was finally able to begin those meds after weeks of begging the clinic to actually give her the prescription. She waited 5 weeks, THEN had to beg for the blood test to check to see if the meds were working. After several back and forths with the nurse (when she actually returned any phone calls or emails that is), K finally got to speak with the RE himself. That conversation left her even more confused than ever with the him telling her that her levels were well enough to proceed but couldn't tell her when she could proceed. He also mentioned several times that it was important she have her uterine lining checked. She corrected him that her surrogate - that's me! - would need the lining check. That seemed to confuse him, so he repeated that she would need her lining checked. He also said that K would need to repeat all her prior tests since the clinic had performed them "incorrectly." After all this, K still had no clear answers as to our next steps and was be no closer to beginning our 3rd attempt. She was very confused and frustrated, to say the least.

I have lamented in the past about the slow communication from this clinic. I can no longer lament about poor communication because they don't communicate at all. In fact, I have several unanswered messages out from months ago. It's a good thing I didn't hold my breath! This is such a shame because they've worked so well with me in the past. However, staff changes seem to be getting the best of them and they are no longer able to keep up with their patient load.

K made the decision to switch clinics to a facility that she could trust. We were very fortunate that she was able to be seen quickly at Baystate Reproductive Medicine in MA. She has already had her initial consult and bloodwork. The new RE has requested another round of testing for me as well; she is graciously allowing me to work with a local fertility clinic instead of flying to MA for the testing. I have reached out and been approved by Nashville Fertility Clinic. I hope to have an appointment next week for the initial testing and monitoring. In the meantime, K is waiting on her med protocol to prepare for her egg retrieval.

Although it was quite stressful to change clinics, we feel we have made the best decision. We feel we are capable and caring hands at Baystate.

Ok, so this post was not as long as I thought it was going to be. Seriously, there's even more to the story; I guess I just refrained from a lot of unnecessary details. I'll be posting again when I get the appointment confirmation from my local clinic.

We are so excited to finally be moving forward!