Friday, March 26, 2010

Hurry up and Wait to Share the News

Quick mini-update: IP's and I, with our respective attorneys, are reviewing the contract terms. It's somewhat of a paper shifting game. As soon as we all agree on the terms, I will be preparing to head out to meet them. I'm not sure how long this particular process takes, but the experienced surrogate moms I'm taking my advice from call it the "hurry up and wait" phase. So, that's what we'll do -- wait. I am hoping to hear something (a touch of base) by early next week, so you'll know when I know.

C & I have been emailing back and forth almost daily. I am enjoying getting to know her. We are finding that we have so much in common that we can pass for the same person in most respects. We are both sharing our parenting woes and joys and our hopes for this experience together. We are also sharing photos of our families with one another. God has just grown a love for them in my heart so easily and so quickly; I think C & I will feel like best friends by the time we get to meet in person. Now, to get our husbands to become besties. :)

Sharing the News!
We (the hubby and I) have had the pleasure of sharing our decision with our small group family, other members of our church family, and our families. It was very important to me that I have support from those closest to me, so I was a bit anxious about sharing with everyone. To my surprise, everyone has been so encouraging...even those who I thought might be a bit negative about the whole idea. I was not looking for approval, but feel that all of the positive response is further affirmation for me in my decision to carry a child for another family. I am joyfully anticipating what God will do in me and others through this journey.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Call me MATCHED!

I am officially matched!! Yay!!! What does that mean exactly? It means that C&M have chosen me to be their surrogate and I have chosen them; we will have all agreed to walk this journey together, and are moving forward in our process. Isn't that so exciting!!

I have been emailing and speaking with C for a couple of days and we both feel as if we are so perfect one another. Each of us has the support of our family and friends and feel that God has brought us together in such a special way. I truly am honored to be able to carry and nuture their child for a short time. I don't think better parents could have found me.

The next "phases" of our journey is the contract phase. Experience from other surrogate mothers tells me that this is one of the most stressful times, but a necessary evil. I am so thankful to have a wonderful agency to walk me through everything and guide me in my decisions. They have been terrific from the beginning and I can't say enough good things about them. After this phase is complete, my next step will be to fly to New York (I know, right!) and meet the parents in person, undergo psychological testing, blood testing, and receive information and meds to begin the cycling process. After that, I will fly back to New York for the tranfer of C&M's embryo. Prayers up now for a smooth transfer and positive pregnancy!

I wish I could tell you all how ecstatic I am about this. I was somewhat dscouraged after being told I would be a hard match, and had resigned myself to learning patience through this. To my amazement, doors opened so easily and I'm already looking forward to the end, when C&M have their baby in their arms.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Phone "interview"

I did a phone "interview" this morning with a set of Potential Intended Parents (PIPs), C&M. I am calling it an interview because it was quite formal and was moderated by an attorney. I was more nervous than I expected to be, somewhat of a first-date jitter type feeling. We shared some basic things about lives and our desires about this journey. I would have liked for it to have been for casual, but I imagine the first conversation is always a little bit awkward.

Afterwards, each of us were supposed to notify the agency if we wished to have continue communication via personal email and phone numbers. We did! In fact, we both contacted our coordinator immediately. Since then C and I have exchanged a couple of emails. I confess I already feel a connection with her and have a desire to be bonded with her in friendship and surrogacy. We will continue to speak throughout the week and see if we are ready to move along to meeting one another and begin our journey together.

Remember that I mentioned I do have another interview later this week; the PIPs profile came to me within hours of C&M's profile. I can say that if C&M choose me, I will not be going forward with the other interview. I would not want any family to connect with me and allow them to get their hopes up only to tell them I had chosen someone else. I would think it best to not speak at all. I am saddened at the thought of having to break anyone's heart, as I know these families have had enough heartbreak in their lives already.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Progress already?

So, no sooner than I hit "publish" on my first post did I receive 2 (not 1, but 2!) emails from 2 diffierent agencies, each with a couple of Potential Intended Parents (PIP's) who saw my profile and are interested in talking with me about possibly being their surrogate. I'm a little shocked after being told that I would likely be waiting awhile.

While I cannot share any information about the PIP's publicly, I can tell you that both couples seem absolutely perfect! My heart's desire is for each of them, at least on paper. I am humbled to even be in a position to choose between such great couples. But listen to my arrogance; it is they who must choose me.

I will be speaking with one couple, C&M, this weekend, smiliar to a phone interview. I'm hoping we "click" right away, and we will both know that we are a match for each other. I'm absolutely giddy at such a fast and positive response.

I may be posting more than I expected afterall.

Thursday, March 18, 2010


I have taken a big huge giant step towards my desire to be a surrogate mother. I have been actively persuing this by applying to surrogacy agencies (who match parents with surrogates) as well as contacting parents who have posted "ads" searching for surrogates. I am applying to be a Gestational Surrogate, which means my womb will house an embyro from other parents for 9 months.

During my application process, I have been denied by one agency and told my another to seek matches elsewhere due to my beliefs regarding the termination of a pregnancy and selective reduction. I had no idea how unpopular my beliefs would be in the surrogacy world, although it seems to be the most unpopular when going through an agency to find your match. I have had a coupe of agencies who have been encouraging, although honestly telling me that it would be hard and take time to match me with Intended Parents who feel the same as I do.

Currently, I am working with 2 agencies who seem to be "in my corner" so to speak with regards to my convictions about life.

I am so blessed to have the support of my husband, my mother, my sister, and some close friends. I am also grateful to an online community of surrogate mothers who have fed me with so much information and so much encouragement. This is not a decision my family and I have taken lightly, decided on a whim, or jumped into blindly. I would not want to do this on my own, so again, I'm so thankful for those of you who have been so positive about my decision. *You know who you are, so no shout-outs should be necessary, wink*

I hope this blog serves as a way to update you all who are supporting me and following me along the way. Knowing this process takes time, I cannot promise that this blog will be updated often. It really depends on when and how much progress is made. Hopefully, you'll be hearing from me again soon!