Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Big, BIG changes


I don't even know where to begin this update. So much has happened in this journey in the past 3 weeks. This is a heavy hearted updated as this surrogacy journey has come to a close. K abruptly decided to no longer continue egg retrievals for the purpose of this surrogacy.
Here's how we got here:
You'll remember that K made the decision to switch clinics and I was to have another saline sonogram performed for our new doctor. I was fortunate to be able to have this sonogram rather quickly on August 8. The appointment went well, and my results were sent to the clinic.

I spoke with K regarding the appointment while we waited to hear back from the doctor. The sweet practitioner that performed the ultrasound noted 2 very tiny polyps in the uterine lining. K's doctor warned her previously that this could be a possibility due to the multiple rounds of fertility meds taken during these attempts. The fix is to have me undergo a d&c -dilation & curretage - which is a minor surgical procedure to remove the polyps from the uterine tissue. K and I had discussed this possibility previously and weren't discouraged at all by the results. This is not uncommon during IVF and we both agreed that having this procedure would be the next step in our process. We both ended the call in good spirits and excited to be moving forward.

Less than 24 hours later, my agency sent me a break-up email, stating that K had decided to break our match and put surrogacy on hold due to emotional and financial reasons. This news came as quite a shock to me as there was no hint at all that this was even an option for her. I reached out to K, but she said she did not want to talk. She did finally respond a few days later via text to apologize. She let me know that her decision was not based on the ultrasound results since she hadn't even spoken to her doctor. She said she would touch base with soon but of course she has not. I do not expect her to do so at this point.

I feel that the IPs are contractually responsible for the surgery costs since the polyps are a direct result of the surrogacy contract. My agency disagrees at this moment, so that is something I have to let the attorneys handle. *sigh*

I am now left trying to decide if I should undergo the d&c (I can't get approved as a carrier again with the presence of the polyps) or consider this the end of my road for surrogacy. I do have a desire to carry for another couple but an elective surgery, no matter how simple, is not to be taken lightly. I have a consult on August 30 with my OB to discuss the procedure, risks, etc. In the meantime, I will continue to search my heart to decide about my future as a gestational carrier.

Thank you all for following along with me. Life isn't always peaches and roses, I suppose!

I'll reach out to you all again soon.

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