Monday, September 26, 2016

Going under (the knife?)

I'm back with an update -- I was hoping to have the legal side of things cleared up before I posted but I'll share where I'm at so far...

My consult with my OB was rescheduled for another day due to my doc having to deliver during my appointment time. The nerve of that laboring mama, right? ;) I did eventually have my consult about having these polyps removed. I shared the medical notes from the saline sonogram with my OB. Initially, the nurse performing the ultrasound said my polyps were "tiny." However, my OB said they were a "pretty good size." Those are my relative terms. I guess I agree with the "good size" description since my cycles have been AWFUL! I don't want to share TMI, but I literally can't go anywhere for the first 2 days of my cycle due to heavy bleeding and horribly painful cramps. I have never had cramps like these in my life. These symptoms have been present since the chemical pregnancy back in January. I knew they were likely from the hormonal changes from the IVF medications, but I didn't realize they would be permanent! So, surgery is my only option to take back my life from these monster cycles.

My d&c is scheduled for Oct 12. It will be an outpatient procedure performed under general anesthesia. I did not realize that I have to be asleep for this procedure. I am a bit nervous, I confess. But it has to be done, so on we march!

As for the legal side of this situation, it is still being "discussed" among the attorneys. The discussion is revolving around whether the IVF medications actually led to the development of the polyps. If they did, then the IPs would be contractually liable. Their attorney is stating that there's no proof that the medications caused the polyps, therefore the IPs shouldn't be liable for the cost of removal. *cue my eye roll here*

A very simple internet search can you tell that polyps are a very common side effect of IVF medications. K's previous doctor told her that as well as my OB. But the attorneys need it in writing from a doctor. *cue another eye roll* My OB will not put this in writing for me as part of a legal document because I was not in her care during the IVF medications and procedures. K's doctor does not consider me a patient -- K is the patient, not that doctor cannot offer that. And of course, the clinic we previously worked with did not diagnose the polyps, so it's doubtful they would provide documentation of the cause.

It goes without saying that had our journey continued as we agreed, the IPs would have been responsible for the procedure in order to move forward with the next transfer attempt. Since they broke the contract before that could happen, this now seems to be a grey area in the contract.

While I do want to carry again, in light of this current situation, it's highly unlikely that I will carry with the same agency. I'm not feeling very confident in their abilities or desire to be an advocate for the surrogates as well as they are for their intended parents. (And I never even shared here about some issues with the previous surrogacy.) I'm certainly not comfortable with the surrogacy agreement resulting in me being left with a large medical bill as well my husband's personal time off from work to care for me during recovery. As this looks to be the likely case, it seems that perhaps I could not afford to work with this agency again. It's obviously my personal belief that the surrogate should not be left financially responsible for any medical procedures that are a result of the surrogacy agreement.


Other than all of the above, life has been pretty good to me these days. My oldest child at home just turned 16, got his permit, and got a job. He's working to save for a car.

My youngest (the one with the football) plays flag and is his team - that his daddy coaches - is currently undefeated.

The husband took me to see Boyz II Men with The Nashville Symphony. It was a super fun date night!

All in all, things are going well at the moment.

I do hope to seek another match after my procedure and complete a third (and most likely final!) journey. Stay tuned, friends!

1 comment:

  1. I am so sad that this journey has turned into this. I was really hoping for a common sense resolution to this.

    It's also so sad to see my wife doubled over in pain due to these polyps.

    I am excited for her to get this resolved soon and will gladly pay anything to see her pain go away. I love this amazing woman.