7 Months Since

It's been almost 7 months (just a couple days shy actually) since one of the hardest days of my life: the day P & Z's sweet baby boy entered the world without breath. Each month has offered time to grieve, question, and begin healing emotionally and physically. I am making my way towards both.

Shortly after the birth, I began physical therapy at the suggestion of my OB, to restore my postpartum body. I attended twice weekly sessions for 6 weeks. My appointments consisted of functional exercises to retrain and restrengthen my abdominal wall, my hips, and my pelvic floor. I highly recommend that ALL postpartum women (no matter how far postpartum you are!) see a pelvic floor physiotherapist to offer guidance to restore strength and functionality to body after baby. I was released from PT with a clean bill of functional health, no diastis recti, and strong pelvic floor muscles. I don't even pee when I sneeze...after 8 babies, folks! Seriously, see your local physiotherapist. If you're in the middle TN area, I highly recommend Results Physiotherapy in Franklin, TN.

P and I had a lot of contact in the first couple of months following the birth, but it has waned quite a bit. P is ready to  move forward with her dream of having a child and I am in a holding period. I feel we have both made a peaceful acceptance of the passing of her little one; it's an experience that will connect us both: a story that we will each tell from our own perspective. My OB's recommendation is 12-18 months before attempting another pregnancy, and I of course need that time to physically heal. I also need the time to continue to process the experience and decide how I feel about carrying again. Initially, P wanted a commitment that I just couldn't give so soon after the birth. She asked for my blessing to search for another surrogate, and I happily gave it! I want so bad for her to realize her dream of having her very own little one in her arms.  Right now, we are both in different stages of our lives and waiting for different things.

In the waiting, I am continuing my exercises from PT and have seen much improvement. I'm at the gym on the regular and am slowly returning to a pre-pregnancy strength routine. My husband and I continue to run a local youth flag football league for our 4th season - that keeps us pretty busy in the spring and the fall! All my kiddos are growing up right before my eyes, leaving me with no more elementary school aged children at the end of this school year.

All of us together, for once!

I made a post last year announcing my jump into the real estate world. I have been working a little here and there, but I have to confess that I'm not convinced that this "job" is the right fit for me. I recently had the opportunity to speak with a local woman interested in surrogacy, as an intended parent. I have been able to share my experience and offer advice and direction. I look forward to helping her throughout her surrogacy process. I have also been able to encourage other women to care for themselves postpartum and teach them exercises that will help them along the way. In all this I realized that my passion isn't real estate -- it's my family and surrogacy and pre- & postnatal fitness. So perhaps I shouldn't have been so quick to make the realty announcement. But sometimes we don't know what fits until we try it on. Surrogacy fits me.

The idea of carrying again has crossed my mind a time or two lately, as I move farther from the birth and farther to recovery. I still haven't decided if I'll carry again. I don't know where life will find me at the end of the year (which is the earliest I'd consider even talking seriously about it!). One day at a time around here. 

Summer is coming and we are excitedly looking forward to lazy pool days and back porch popsicles. I'll pop in more often and let you know where life is finding me.