Sunday, September 19, 2010

Confessions of a Hormone Crazed Mind

Truth: The thought of carrying twins has caused me some anxiety, most of which I assume is aggravated by the progesterone. (Seriously, stay away from that stuff, if you can -- it's a doozy!)As I move further along in this journey, I am becoming more aware of my charge in nurturing these 2 babies for C & M and as a result, some worries have made their way into my mind.

The other night, I made the mistake of googling images for twin pregnancy and came across some frightful sized bellies. Now, I know this just comes with the territory, but my belly grew rather large with just ONE. I can't imagine TWO. This is that whole "fear of the unknown" thing again. Will I be able to find clothes that fit? My shower is kinda smallish...will I be able to bathe? Ha! One other thought on this before I move along: I have read that time and previous pregnancies cause the ab muscles and uterine muscles to relax. I fear that instead of the nice stick-straight-out-belly a'la Angelina Jolie, mine will hang so low as to knock my knees when I walk, mwahahahaha! I guess if i can laugh about that, I must not be too concerned, right?! ;) I likely won't give this one another thought after this posting...

A multiple pregnancy carries a greater risk of bed rest, especially later in the pregnancy. While most moms might love the idea of being told to lay down and do as little as possible, I will have a hard time with this one. I am in charge of entertaining a budding 3 yr old during the day who would not take too kindly to a mom who can no longer hide-and-seek, tickle and chase, and fetch any snacks as he has want. Also, I fear I can only spend so much time on the laptop and in front of the television to pass the time. I suppose could beg folks to come and keep me company from time to time, but all I can think about here is: Goodness, I don't have many visitors when I'm well, how am I going to convince anyone to come when I'm bedridden. :P

Pre-term delivery is also a possibility with multiples. This is a real concern for me as I already feel the responsibility of caring for these babies to make sure they are well and ready for life when they arrive. My wonderful OB has assured me that my risk of early delivery is fairly low given my history and my current health, but it's in the back of my mind nonetheless.

C-section -- more of a possibility with two than one. I've been very fortunate to have avoided being cut in my previous deliveries. Now truthfully, this is not my biggest concern because I know that women have c-sections everyday. This worry just comes from the fact that I personally have no idea what this is experience is like. Although I imagine one would be able to heal much faster whilst not having to care for an infant during the recovery.

I carry more concerns and fears, but those are the ones I can only share with the hubby...the fears that reveal who I am behind the blog screen, ones that might show me as more human that I care to admit, ones that only he could love me after knowing.

Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant with C's Twins, still bearing the weight of first trimester woes. Ultrasound is in 2 weeks to check on Baby A and Baby B. My prayers lie with the health of all 3 of us throughout this pregnancy.


  1. Even in your angst you have me rolling and tinkling. Now every time you're feeling a little stressed picture me sitting here reading your stuff and trying to make it to the bathroom without leaving a puddle in my wake. You will do fine. And remember, no matter how much you worry, God's will will still be done! I love you and am super duper proud of you and the amazing woman you've become. Can't wait to hug you and kiss your face!!!

  2. Thanks for sharing your fears and concerns - it enables me to pray for you better. And you know you will have tons of Bridgers to help when and if needed.

  3. As cliche as this sounds, try and not worry. Most (if any) of these will not happen, so tell those hormones to leave your brain alone!

    It's still so cool to me what you're doing for this family!

  4. Always praying for you and the two little miracles! :)

  5. It's going to be fine and maybe not as big believe it or not. I've carried surro twins twice . . . both times I actually gained less weight than my own three singleton pregnancies. I ate better with someone else's kids. But don't get me wrong, both times I had a big ol' belly LOL!

    Check out my blog- since I just delivered my latest post showed my 36 week belly with my 1st and my 37 week belly with my 2nd.